January 21st

HAPPY 5TH BIRTHDAY PAYTON!

I made cupcakes for Payton's class and for her pizza dinner with the family. The two in the middle without the frosting? Those are for Payton. She doesn't like frosting. I think something must be wrong with her!
I cannot believe my little baby is 5 years old. She's amazing! Here is the birthday girl with her little sis. (Ellie was talking to her cousin Joseph. He and his sisters called to sing Happy Birthday to Payton.)I gave both girls a gift this morning. Ikea has their very own version of the "Snuggie" for kids. https://www.getsnuggie.com/flare/next They were stoked!

Another exciting thing....Payton lost another tooth! But. We don't know when or where! It's just gone! LMAO. We will be writing a letter to the tooth fairy explaining the situation. I bet she still gets a few bucks. :P

Poker Face

I can't end today on such a sucky note, so here is some happy news! We are going to Vegas (just me and Brad) on Valentine's Day weekend! Sharon and Jon are too. Yippee! Staying at the MGM. Now if we can only get Jamie and Dustin to go too. Anyone know a good babysitter? :P

We went 2 years ago and had a blast.....here are some pics. :)

I thought yesterday was monday!

Holy hell. Seriously. Bad day. I don't really have them often. I have bad moments of course, but the string of bad moments from this morning really threw me for a loop. Gotta love breaking out the tears in front of the people you work with. It's hard enough being the only female here, now I am the crazy emotional female.

Issue #1-Computer network problems. Mike is calling me for info that I can only find online and I can't get online. Do you think he accepts that as an answer? Nope. Know what I did? I pulled that mo-fo wireless router right from the computer, plugged in the modem and got it working. Someone else is going to have to deal with the mess I made.

Issue #2-I don't think I blogged about it. My lovely little shithead nephew Kevin thinks it is HILARIOUS that lizards scare the ever livin' crap out of me. I am 30 years old and I have never ever in my life touched a reptile. I don't plan on it now. So, back to the issue. He caught and hid a lizard in my desk drawer. Almost 3 weeks ago! So I have been avoiding my desk. Today I came in, decided that the lizard must be either long gone or dead by now, and started moving 2008 files out in order to fill with 2009's. It was going well until I opened the last drawer and saw the lizard! It saw me and froze, staring at me with it's beady little eyes. I about broke my neck jumping up and tripping over all of the boxes I had on the floor. I called Mike and told him to get his ass in here ASAP. He came in a caught it, thank GOD. Laughing at me the entire time of course. My heart STILL isn't beating right. Can you believe that thing was still alive?

And the Issue that brought on the tears......

Issue #3-Still shaky from the lizard, I was doing paperwork and stapled right through my finger. I mean ALL THE WAY. I have never realized how much a finger can bleed from 2 tiny holes. It's not bleeding anymore, but it's black and blue and purple. Do I need a tetanus shot?


I texted (is that a word?) Brad in the middle of my fit and he brought me McDonald's and a Hershey bar. Screw WW today.

working for her man, she brings home her pay for love.....

Wine.

Friends.

Jon Bon Jovi. *drool*

Guitar Hero.

That's a bit embarrassing.

Fun stuff.

Click the link.

Blogger isn't cooperating.

Surprise!


http://smg.photobucket.com/albums/v213/MistyHorack/?action=view&current=misty1436-1.flv

Does anyone know where my camera cord is?

It's really starting to piss me off. I got all excited earlier, thinking I finally found it, but it was the damn ipod cord. I knew I hated Apple.


I have lots of cute Christmas pictures and pictures of the girls haircuts.......too bad I can't share.

oh lord, so excited!

Just found out The Pretenders will be at the Fox on March 12th. I will be ordering tickets tomorrow.

I got to see Joan Jett back in September and now The Pretender's!?!?!?

I'm SO happy!!!!

to Brad

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i8B1ai25lUo

You are amazing.

I am doing pretty good, going about life happy and relatively stress-free until a package arrived. From my dad. I am assuming it is for the girls since it is a toy. He didn't send a card or call to tell me it was coming. The only reason I knew it was from him was because if had his name on the Kohl's shipping paperwork.
This presents several problems. The first being it reminds me that he is in fact near us physically, although he chooses not to be a part of our life. The second is the issue with my girls. They do not know him. He has been given every opportunity. The last time I heard from him was a message on our machine last year wishing "Payton & Leah" a Merry Christmas. Ellie is almost 3 years old and he has never got her name right. The girls were excited to have a package delivered. I let them have the toy. They asked who it was from. I begrudgingly said "Your grandpa Jim." Because they are 2 and 4 years old, they have no concept of this man. I can talk about him all I want, but until they spend any time with him, they will not know him. He could live with Patrick under a rock for all they know. Ellie actually still believes the gift came from momma's "gym". The next problem is what do I do now? Call and thank him? Send a note? Send a gift in return? I don't want to do any of that. He hasn't contacted me in almost 2 years. He came to our house for a BBQ in June of 2007, and I haven't heard from him since. And that BBQ was a reunion of sorts after not seeing one another for a year before that. He sets me up for hurt over and over again. I am tired of letting him in.

A letter to my dad.

There are so many things I want to say. So many things I SHOULD say.

I am hurt. Anything related to you hurts. I have no good memories. Only sad and at times downright scary. Even now, you continue to hurt me.

I am a mom now, which puts things in a totally different prospective. My children are my life. Payton and Ellie are amazing, amazing kids. I could never for one instant consider abandoning them. If Ryan and I were even 1 tiny fraction as special as my girls are, how could you just walk away? And then come back. Again. And again. To hurt us more. What do you think that does to a child's self-worth?

I'm not a child anymore, I am an adult. But in our relationship, I am still YOUR child. You have to right these wrongs. Or even attempt to. Your lack of effort shows me you have no remorse. You have picked the pieces of your life up. All but two. I should not have to question myself at all times...question whether I am worthy or at least good enough, or hell, even satisfactory in ALL aspects of my life. And this is because of you. Because of the things that you have done.

The worst part? I feel guilt. I feel guilty that I don't try harder. I feel sad. I am sad that you will never know these two unbelievable grandchildren that you have been given every opportunity to know. I am sad that you don't know me. I am angry. So angry. So much that I have to consciously separate my feelings about you from the rest of my life. I can not let them poison me. I am angry that I feel guilty. Really. You did this. And now I have to feel the guilt of not having a relationship with you? Where is your guilt? What are you going to do to right these wrongs? I have never asked anything of you. Never. But you constantly take from me. You took my sense of security a long time ago and I have never got it back. I can't let that continue. I certainly WILL NOT let you hurt my girls.

You need to make a few choices. You need to reevaluate your priorities. If I am not one of them, so be it. If I am, you need to show it. If by chance you decide that you want to be a part of my family's life, you have a lot of work ahead of you. I will not accept these pathetic attempts you make few and far between. I've got to do this. I can't just keep waiting for you to make a move. I hate to say this, but it is all or nothing.

let it snow

Brrrrrrrrr.